If I evaluate 2010 based on how well I met my list of objectives, then the year was one big flop. I may have done a little bit of one or two of those items, but for the most part, I’m in very much the same rut now as I was then. That is, of course, if I want to consider it a rut and if I want to evaluate my year based on a rattled-off list of activities that I one day decided would make my life perfectly balanced and enviable–activities which, by the way, probably reflect more of other people’s priorities and happy-makers than they should.*
Blegh. No. Let’s not.
When I remember 2010, I definitely won’t be remembering that I didn’t cook a new dish every month or that I didn’t read enough books, nor will I congratulate myself on figuring out how to keep this giant house clean most of the time and learning how to better manage my workload. I won’t think about any of the garbage that caused major changes in how I felt about where and with whom I work. Those aren’t the things going into the 2010 files in permanent storage in my brain. Nope. Not even a little. And that’s probably another compelling reason that choosing a word for the year, instead of a list of resolutions, works better for me. For 2011, I’m going with
Sometimes mine gets lost. . . and those are the less attractive moments of life. Sometimes I need a new one. Often, if I think about someone else’s, I’m more kind and patient. And seeking out and experiencing alternative ones always makes me a better person–sometimes more informed, sometimes more conscientious, but always somehow better.
So this year will be dedicated to perspective: to seeing things from multiple angles and distances, to maintaining an authentic one, and to remembering that they’re all relative.
*Note to self: Look, kid, you’re 33. And you’re not a silly little inexperienced, immature 33 either. You have your shit together. . . at least a good part of it. That doesn’t mean it’s too late to branch out into new things. Of course it doesn’t. Don’t be ridiculous. It does, though, mean that you should be beyond trying on other people’s priorities and lives. This isn’t a costume party. And you’ve never liked the available slutty girl costumes anyway.